So, uh…hey there. It’s been a while, hasn’t it? And even though I haven’t written in ages I’m pretty much just going to throw a recipe at you and bail. I see no point in beating around the bush. That’s exactly what’s going on right now. You might as well know up front. I like to think you appreciate my honesty here and that my status in your mind has just been bumped up from “Utterly Amazing” to “Seriously Effing Spectacular”…because who doesn’t love honesty, right? Right?
No? Is that not how this works?
Oh. Well…oops! Let’s just blame all this on my pregnancy, shall we? Lazy blogging? Classic pregnancy symptom. Babies are notorious word filchers and it’s just impossible to write properly if you’ve got one living in your uterus. Seriously. Also, blaming crap on your pregnancy is a fundamental right. There are so many lovely things just yanked from your life the minute you get pregnant: bourbon, clothing that fits, all the best cheeses, vodka, sushi, your previously perfect boobs, wine etc. Really it’s just fair that you get a fabulous, inarguable scapegoat for the next nine months while you live your newly restricted life. See, while you fetus-free folk are busy spiking your eggnog to the tune of Aunt Marge’s latest goiter update I’ll be enduring that shit SOBER. When half the family wanders out to the back patio for a cigar and a scotch, I’ll be stuck inside – SOBER – listening to a million gory birth stories and being reminded of how everyone else only gained 12 pounds with their pregnancies and could fit into their skinny jeans 4 minutes after giving birth. At which point I will likely smile and nod while eating a plateful of Chocolate Crackles. Because nothing says “
Fuck ALL YA’LL! “ I mean, “Merry Christmas!” like eating your weight in delicious sugar-coated chocolate.
Even if your holiday is going to be happily booze-filled, you should totally make these cookies. Why? Because they are EASY and seriously freaking delicious. You can trust me on this. I’m pregnant. I may not remember my phone number today but I know a good cookie when I see one.
4oz unsweetened chocolate
2 tsp. vanilla
2 cups sugar
1/2 cup oil (I use coconut oil – works beautifully)
1/2 cup chopped nuts (I like walnuts but use whatever you like)
2 cups flour
2 tsp. baking powder
1/2 tsp salt
1 cup powdered sugar
Preheat oven to 350.
Melt chocolate in saucepan over low heat. Remove from heat then add oil, eggs, sugar, vanilla and chopped nuts. Then mix in flour, baking powder and salt. Chill dough in refrigerator for at least 30 minutes (can be made a day ahead and chilled overnight if needed) then roll dough into 1 inch-ish balls. Roll balls in powdered sugar and place onto ungreased cookie sheet. (I like to line mine with parchment but it’s not necessary) Bake 10-12 minutes. Let cookies rest on cookie sheet for about 10 minutes before removing them to cooling rack. They will be too soft to move initially so don’t rush it. Unless you need a bunch of destroyed cookies so that you have an excuse to eat them all yourself, then by all means, throw those suckers around and have at it.