It’s been a while. And I feel like this happened last year. Months flew by and I thought often about my blog. I wanted to blog. I half-composed posts in my mind and in the end I did not actually manage to blog. I think last year I used being pregnant with Marleigh as an excuse. This year, I’d like to follow tradition by blaming her again. She’s so busy and she has all these demands. She wants to be fed at regular intervals, talked to, played with, kept in clean diapers…it’s like parenting fucking Beyonce over here. Except there’s a lot more cuddling. And not *quite* as many sequins.
Then the holidays happened. So I completely lost a month in a wild haze of cookies, booze and online shopping. Oh, and love and togetherness and whatnot.
All that said, I think we need to catch up. Here’s what’s been going on since I last posted:
- I’ve spent approximately two billion hours nursing my baby.
- The baby has grown. A lot. Like really big and really fast. 99th percentile for height – holla!
- I’ve told the baby to stop growing. It’s not a race, Marleigh.
- My boys have become obsessed with swords. They prefer to fight with each other but when I shut that down, they’re happy to go beat the shit out of our trees. I assume Mother Nature is unimpressed.
- We attempted to grow a garden. It was not a complete failure. I mean, it was mostly a failure but we were able to eat a handful of veggies from it. Also, if you need thyme, I can totally hook you up. That shit is indestructible.
- Considered starting a support group for infant headband addiction but decided against it because I love decorating my baby’s head!!!!!
- Gave all my money to Etsy. And Baby Gap.
- Was introduced to Bourbon Balls. They’re the polite, Southern way to get lit during the holidays.
- Found out that storing leftover bourbon balls in the freezer is genius. Now
I you*ahem* someone can sneak bites of chocolate covered bourbon when they’re putting away the leftovers.
- We saw two movies in a movie theater. This is practically unheard of since we started having all these babies. It was fun.
- I may or may not have snuck mini bottles of Grey Goose into the theater. It was daring and intense but I totally played it cool. Nerves of steel over here.
- Made homemade marshmallows for the first time. It was borderline life-changing. I will never go back to store-bought. Never.
- Wondered if there is an ICU for plants. (Presumably in California? Everything grows in California.) My lemon tree needs to go there. Stat.
- Watched my sons use real tools, sharp ones, for the first time. I didn’t die of a heart attack. Probably because I’m a total badass….OR I just didn’t have time to die. Either way, success!
- Received at least four new bottles of scotch and/or bourbon because my family truly loves me.
- Bought a bar cart to hold said booze. It’s cute. Very Mad Men.
- Decided to slow things down for the next several weeks. It’s time to invest in us. Time is flying by and I don’t want to feel like I missed the good stuff because I was “busy”.
- Started thinking about planting the garden again. Let’s see what we can kill this year!!
- May have started thinking about the theme for Marleigh’s first birthday party but will totally deny it if you ask…unless we’ve been hanging out by the bar cart…or the freezer…
- Have been endlessly thankful for my husband. I still can’t figure out how I got so lucky. He is nothing short of amazing. (It’s ok, I’m done. You can stop gagging now.) But seriously, he is the BEST of ALL the people!!
- Discovered a new-found love for smoked mackerel. No, I’m not kidding.
- Got a major haircut and managed to keep my husband from divorcing me over it. I think we all know what this means; I’m really good in the…kitchen.
- Realized that the laundry will not truly be finished for approximately the next 17 years. I have made my peace.