Ponder the whole soccer vs football dilemma. You’ve always called it soccer, should you change now? The rest of the world calls it football which makes way more sense than calling American football football. But if you switch are you just a poser? Does it matter? Are you seriously still thinking about this?
Feel disappointment but not surprise when you see that the other team has scored a goal while you were sweeping up an unimaginable amount of food debris from under the table.
Realize that because there are no adults in the house to speak to you’ve basically been talking to yourself inside your head for an hour.
Decide that talking to yourself for an hour is totally not weird if you were in fact composing a blog post.Now it’s just creative and not at all depressing.
Make banana bread.
Change the sheets on the bed.
Start the dishwasher.
Put the baby down for her nap.
Play hide and seek.
Read a book about bees while pretending you don’t fucking hate bees.
Notice halfway through the bee book that the game is over and your team lost.